the listenerd

optimized for maximum incontinence

Month: December, 2008

Video: Ken Nordine’s “MAYBE THE MOMENT part one”

Speak of the devil…brand-new word jazz on YouTube from the indefatigable Ken Nordine (sans the words!?).

Links for 12.31.08: Kunstler’s future, The Todd’s Thong, Zune’s day of the dead

*Zunes: All the 30 gig Zunes froze at 2 a.m. today. This is the kind of story that needs no comedic embellishment. [techmeme]

*Hip-hop: Did YouTube really kill rap battles? Speaking only for myself, I haven’t seen a decent rap battle in almost 35 years. [licensing plate]

*Comics: This Flickr group collects real-life reenactments of The Far Side cartoons. YES, YES, and YES. [laughing squid]

*Nostalgia: Crimes Against Music compares the sounds of the top bands of 2008 to the sounds of bands from yesteryear – for instance, 2008’s Fleet Foxes = 2003’s My Morning Jacket. (It’s more interesting than my dumb description of it.) [mbv]

*2009: Here’s what James Howard Kunstler says will happen over the next year. “We’ll turn around early in 2009 and discover that we are a much poorer nation than we thought because from now on credit will be extremely hard to get for anyone for anything.” And the rest is equally unpretty.

*Television: Long-time NBC sit-com Scrubs is moving to ABC with the strange stipulation that The Todd can never, ever appear in a thong. “A popular character nicknamed the Todd is no longer allowed to wear the thong-style swimsuit he occasionally wore on NBC. ‘That was an actual edict from the head of standards at Disney.'” WHAT?

*Local: Maybe I’m just late to notice, but The Current Music Blog seems to be attempting to put up some content again (it looked like it was just weird lists of songs for awhile there…) Good luck! This org has a rare opportunity – both content and a built-in brand to do good things, though they seem determined not to.

Video: John Cage “Paying Attention”

[eyebeam reblog]

Links for 12.30.08: Defriending, Retweeting, Gibbarding and Metal Beef

*Love: All the bloggers have told you this – Ben Gibbard and Zooey Deschanel are engaged. That dude must have some smooth game, because even I think he is unattractive. And that’s like the pot calling the kettle horribly disfigured.

*Metal Beef: It’s Kip Winger vs. Lars Ulrich. God, I love a good beef. Side beef: Tila Tequila vs. Rihanna. Eh.

*Comments: The post most commented-upon over at Stereogum this year was one discussing VH1’s Top 100 Songs in Hip-Hop list. I used to comment on Stereogum. God, that’s weird to think about.

*Musical obits: The Times has put together a musical montage from musicians who passed away in 2008.

*Concerts: Kraftwerk will be playing with Radiohead on the latter band’s Latin American tour, kicking off March 2009.

*Blogs: Fimoculous’ 30 most notable blogs of 2008. This list – a new version of which comes out yearly – is usually very good! It feels more mainstream this year! Waxy, Gawker, the NYT. Maybe it’s not the list who’s changed, it’s ME. It usually is. It usually. Effin’. Is.

*Social media: The Wall Street Journal takes on the unsavory topic of DEFRIENDING. I have long been a staunch advocate of defriending, and defriend at least once a week. I have to tell you, without fail it feels great. I’d guess that I eventually refriend about 15% of the people I defriend. [ypulse]

*Ugh: Is Steve Jobs ok?

*Dumb: This post on Retweets as a primary metric in Twitter authority rank (whaa???) made me finally unsubscribe from TechCrunch. I can’t take the time to explain why it annoyed me so much, but at the heart of things is a profound lack of perspective.

*Security: Check out the Top 100 passwords. “Fuckyou” slides in at #49, but what’s really surprising (and effed up) is #5. [can’t remember]

Video: Space-themed 1979 health club commercial voiced by Ken Nordine

Allow me to describe for you this particular flavor of awesomeness:

It is 1979. You are sitting on your sofa in Chiago, Illinois. You are viewing a television commercial for Chicago Health Clubs. Chicago Health Clubs has decided to have the inimitable KEN NORDINE do the voiceovers for their commercials.

Furthermore, they’ve opted to go with a futuristic space theme in hawking their services. FURTHERMORE, exercisers wear silver “space-like” suits WITH CAPES.


(Furthermore, some sort of Millennium Falcon knock-off model thing in the opening shot.)

Musicians who Twitter

(*Updated November 3, 2009.)

I made Twitter list here.

As everyone knows, Twitter’s people search was non-existent until just recently, and is mediocre even now. Given that, I compiled a VERY SHORT LIST (NOT THE TRADEMARKED KIND) of musicians who Twitter.

I have tried following most of them, and I’ll be honest with you: the majority of them are very, very, very bad at Twittering. I had to quit them. I’m sorry. Shaq is the least musician among them, but perhaps the second-best Twitterer (Jonathan Coulton is easily the best), in a fucked-up zen sort of way.

(If you would rather just follow people who are smart and/or hilarious, go here and scroll to the bottom.) Lil Wayne and Chris Brown and some others did some Twittering for the VMAs a couple years ago and were awful, then quit, so I didn’t include them. Also, I cannot guarantee the authenticity of all of these accounts. There are a lot of fakesters out there, and it’s not difficult to impersonate inanity.

(Also, of course, you can always follow a REAL HUMAN BEING. Just saying.)

Another list here, from Mashable.

Lily Allen
Band of Horses
Sara Bareilles
Bloc Party
The Cardinals
Nick Cave
Jonathan Coulton
Rivers Cuomo
Ani Difranco
Snoop Dogg
Lady GaGa
MC Hammer
Imogen Heap
Hot Hot Heat
Talib Kweli
Lil Wayne
Mates of State
Dave Matthews
John Mayer
Willie Nelson
Yoko Ono
Pearl Jam
Shaquille O’Neal
Questo of the Roots
The Raconteurs
Jay Reatard
John Roderick
Edward Roste
Soulja Boy
Britney Spears
Regina Spektor
John Tesh
John Vanderslice
Patrick Wilson
Tay Zonday

Also: you may visit this ever-expanding spreadsheet for new Twitter musicians.

Here are some other guides to Musicians on Twitter:

Pop Junikie now has a large list of bands on Twitter.
COED magazine has 406 Bands Who Twitter.
Each Note Secure
Drowned in Sound
Music Twitters

Video: Zelda music played on acoustic instruments by some nerd


Miscellaneous year-end listenerd bullshit: 2008

Hello, it is the end of the year, and for an unknown reason you are reading the listenerd. Welcome.

First, I would like to warn you that this will be painfully boring. Because it will not be about Fergie peeing her pants. Or anyone else peeing his or her pants. Unless I pee my pants in the very, very near future. What it will instead be about is anything falling under the broad category of “Miscellaneous year-end listenerd bullshit: 2008.”

Second: business time. Many thanks to the fine readers who have come here and read things over the past year. Even to those who have come searching for pornographic materials. Sorry. Thanks also to those who have commented, sent e-mails, twittered, etc. Regards.

Thanks also to the fine bloggers who link here, e-mail interesting tidbits or angry words, make “social media connections” through various inanely named, platform-specific means (poking, nudging) or slap me directly across the face in person. Particular propers for general 2008 awesomeness go to: Startling Moniker, ControlRoom, Blisslist, Urlesque, Switchblade Comb, Idolator, The Daily Swarm and Spin City, and several others that I have doubtless omitted.

Stats: Please note that I am not a multinational corporation, nor am I Web 2.0 platform that is harnessing the power of crowds, nor do I have a payroll for this endeavor. Instead, I am a single human being, blogging with a singularity of purpose that is known only to one person in the universe. (My job is to find that person, and to kill him.)

Despite these facts, the ‘nerd is now up to 1,657 posts, almost half of them mediocre.

The top five posts for the year, in order NOT of stupidity, but rather in order of pageviews:
1) Censored nude dance party.
2) Famous people who Twitter.
3) Arnel Pineda’s Embassy Aid Speaks.
4) The Believin’ has not stopped.
5) Lil’ Nutzzak’s “(You Make Me So) Hard”.

An analysis of which goes to show you:

1) I am an idiot.
2) Why am I doing this again?
3) People like sex.
4) People like new Journey frontman Arnel Pineda.
5) People like following famous people (who are, as a rule, TERRIBLE twitterers) on Twitter.

The three most clicked-upon links for the year were…

1) Henry Rollins’ purported Twitter account. (Now dead.)
2) Diablo Cody’s purported Twitter account.
3) Snoop Dogg’s Twitter account.
Side note: Why did Snoop Dogg purchase an umbrella?
Answer: Fo Drizzle.

Finally, I offer you my personal favorite items posted on this blog this year. They have nothing to do with anything, except what I happen to like right now. Please note: I have had a Surly Furious, a glass of wine and a Legacy Chocolates truffle. All within the last 15 minutes. Also, I am bald.

1) Recommendations and anti-recommendations.
2) The Oh, Fuck It Edition.
3) Flying Wang Attacks Kasparov.
4) Mashup review: Girl Talk’s “Feed the Animals”.

Thank you – sincerely – once again for your patronage this year (if applicable), and (once again) regards forever.


Video: Maurice Sendak’s “In the Night Kitchen”

Found this animated version of Maurice Sendak’s “In the Night Kitchen” in my twitterstream. It is jazzy, psychedelic and mildly terrifying (say both me and the little Dude).


Links for 12.27.08: Pianocktail maker, 2008 = fail, Springsteen’s Wal-mart embrace…

*Inventions: “The pianocktail is a piano that mixes drinks based on the combination of keys played.” [waxy]

*The T-shirt Economy: The New York Times looks at music and licensing. Well, the article starts out on the licensing front, then talks about 360 deals, jingles, and the various challenges of the music business as a whole.

*Lists: Adweek joins in the list-making herd, with the top five “branded music” initiatives.’s “Yes We Can” for Barack Obama and Chris Brown’s Wrigley jingle make the cut. [largehearted boy]

*Words: More on this year’s buzzwords from the New York TimesThe year of the fail. [kottke]

*Social music: co-founder Richard Jones talks about the operational challenges of managing the data the music social network has collected. “It is a huge challenge; the common numbers are something like 300 million different tracks that we’ve recorded (that’s in tons of different spellings), and about 20 million different artists.”

*Money: Bjork is backing a Sustainable Investment Fund. [Tepid swan joke.]

*Retail: Bruce Springsteen will be putting out a greatest hits album that will only be available at Wal-Mart. If things keep going the way they’re going, Wal-mart may soon be the only physical retailer left. [xrrf]

*Local: The St. Paul Winter Carnival will have an indoor blues festival this year. Here’s the schedule. Indoors?

*Twitter: Read these three.

Video: DJ Earworm’s “United States of Pop 2008”

Being a mashup from DJ Earworm of the Top 25 hits of 2008.


I am returned.


Video: Japanese Jimi Hendrix cover band plays “Auld Lang Syne”

I wish this link to serve as a microcosm of the listenerd for 2008.

I don’t know what that means, and I never want to know.

(Seriously; watch as a guitarist from a Hendrix cover band in Osaka, Japan sort of shreds in the new year.)

Video: 13-year-old girl plays Rush on drums