Please note

by Josh Kimball

I’d like everyone to know that I just paid $12 to keep this blog running for another year. Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it. Sometimes I wonder if I should have become a mommy blogger. Count the money piling up. Watch the product pouring in. Cover my entire body in diapers and Baby Bjorns, rub Jell-O pudding pops all over my face and sleep the sleep of the incorporated. Probably on a Select Comfort Sleep Number Mattress™. After drinking 7.5 mLs of dye-free infant Benadryl™.

Sometimes I wonder if I need to lose another 15 pounds. I wonder what things would be like if I hadn’t gone bald at an early age. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if an eagle and a komodo dragon mated. What would the world be like if the saying were actually “My komodo is open to you”? Probably pretty intense. That’s what the world would be like. Intense and weird. On a related note, I saw a guy reading “The Basics of Butchering Livestock and Game” today. Weird thing was, he was wearing overalls in a non-overalls part of town, and I swear to God I saw a saw hanging from his painter’s loop.

Anyway, 12 bucks. Goodbye forever.