the listenerd

optimized for maximum incontinence

Category: blogs

Tumblrs with book deals – gutenbait?

(Updated 7.6.09 – added a couple of blogs with deals)

Below is a list (by no means exhaustive) of tumblrs that are now available in lovely printed form. I’ve also included a number of near-tumblrs – simple, single-concept tumblr-like blogs that are as much about images and an idea as they are about prose. Is like half of all book-reading now being done on the toilet or something?

Anyway, I informally propose blogs of this type and flavor henceforth be called Gutenbait (Digg-bait for the gutenberg-era).

*Look at this fucking hipsterSt. Martin’s
*This Is Why You’re FatHarperStudio
*Hot Chicks with Douchebags (this should have been a Tumblr) – Simon Spotlight
*FMLMichel Lafon Publishing
*Pets Who Want to Kill ThemselvesThree Rivers Press
*Rules for My Unborn SonSt. Martin’s
*Texts from Last NightGotham
*Sleeveface – Artisan Workman
*Cake WrecksAndrews McMeel Publishing

*I’m not counting: Postcards From Yo Momma, I Can Haz Cheeseburger or Stuff White People Like. Because I am in charge here.

I’d like to recommend for bookization:
*Goths in Hot Weather

Furthermore, Give Us A Book Deal offers a regular stream of idiotic book deal-bait tumblr ideas such as “Rules for My Future Dog” and “Slutty Ninjas.”

*Update: Apparently Gawker doesn’t read the Listenerd. Or at least doesn’t link to it! Not much new info in this book-to-blogs post, but a shout-out to Boner Party, which is good?

*On the topic of my noms de plume

Hello! And welcome. This stupid little blog is fast coming up on two years of operation, and I thought I’d write a couple anomalous posts to mark the occasion. In a few weeks I’ll thank a bunch of MFers and throw around a bunch of Best Of links and generally be an idiot, but I first thought it would be fun to look back a little further.

As any regular readers of the ‘nerd probably know, for my day job, I write about all kinds of whacked out bullshit – the culture, the consumer, Slankets, furminators, high-concept schemas illustrating where our world is going, any and all of that. One of the pieces I wrote not too long ago was about my company’s new macrotrend (a macrotrend is just a construct for thinking about large chunks of consumer and cultural phenomena), called MultiMe. The piece is here, and it talks a little bit about the changing nature of and possibilities around identity today, using Twitter and my recent Twittercide as a road in. (My twitter self has since been resurrected, for any who care.)

The post itself and the idea behind it, along with a recent profile of David Foster Wallace in the New Yorker, got me considering the various selves I’ve left online over the years, and I thought it might be fun to revisit a few.

The topic of identity, of course, is a gnarly one, and I’d rather not get lost in too much nuance here. On the low-end of my multiple personality spectrum, though, is the simple work/life divide. In addition to writing in a wholly different voice for my day job, I now write (or “write”) the ‘nerd. I previously took a crack at daddy blogging on Dethroner, and I’ve left a thousand Web 2.0 accounts in my wake.

Long before all that, though, I used to write some super-psychedelic, head-splitting bullshit under a wholly different – not simply obscured – name. What pulled this out of the back of my brain was the recent New Yorker piece that talked about the central theme of “The Pale King,” the unfinished novel David Foster Wallace left behind. A quote:

“The novel [The Pale King] continues Wallace’s preoccupation with mindfulness. It is about being in the moment and paying attention to the things that matter, and centers on a group of several dozen I.R.S. agents working in the Midwest. Their job is tedious, but dullness, “The Pale King” suggests, ultimately sets them free. A typed note that Wallace left in his papers laid out the novel’s idea: “Bliss—a-second-by-second joy and gratitude at the gift of being alive, conscious—lies on the other side of crushing, crushing boredom. Pay close attention to the most tedious thing you can find (Tax Returns, Televised Golf) and, in waves, a boredom like you’ve never known will wash over you and just about kill you. Ride these out, and it’s like stepping from black and white into color.”

Cool, right? Anyway, that reminded me of the tiny, unread blog I used to write under a fake name way back in the day. The “author’s name” was Kelvin Gordon and his single goal in life was the pursuit of MONOTONY. (Make no mistake – I bear ZERO resemblance to the great DFW in any significant way, shape or form. The subject matter was simply the trigger here.)

Example: “Today, I shined my cordovan shoes with urine and ketchup-stained napkins.

Here’s one of the more coherent posts, which is about insanity itself. Another post, on the fictional event of my resoling a pair of cordovan loafers with the help of Vin Diesel, addresses the issue of monotony and what lies beyond it:

“As hammers flew, flung heavy in the humid air, the monotony, too, grew. There seemed no end to the repeated repetitions. There seemed no break, no divergence in time that was past (nor of time in the future foreseeable).

Monotony, as monotony so very, very often does, when experienced in its purest states, stretched forward and back in temporality, like the undulating waves of the humpback whales. Hammerfall. Hammerfall. Hammerfall. Hammerfall.”

The rest of the blog, such as it was, is strewn with sometimes-sensical talk about monotony (going much further and sometimes scarily deeper than the above example) and “the pursuit of the Sufficient Life.” Very few people, of course, read The Dinghy at the time, though I would urge you to look around (if you are insane). The only attention that particular collection of writing did receive was from a group of academics in a northeastern college – aligned with the L+A+N+G+U+A+G+E poets in some way, I think – who found the fracturing of the narrative amusing or interesting. Or something. Who knows?

Under the same name I wrote other stuff as well, including a RIVETING drama about TWO OWLS who want to kick each other’s asses, which I HIGHLY recommend that you read immediately.

Also, a story about COWBOYS titled “Salvation at the Flop” for a publication called Pindeldyboz from way back in the day. “It is night. The band plays. Fleas scream. Bullets om. Chips click. Piss tinkles. A chair scrapes. Wait. Wait.” That one, I may not even be embarrassed about.

There were some other things, but I have bored you enough for one day. Or for two years even. This, I think, is my payback for linkblogging. So thank you. When I return (and it may be a bit of time before I do so), I will “write” about MUSIC once again.

Thank you and goodbye forever.

I am going away for a while now.


I am going far, far away for a little while.

To a place where cellphones, computers and music do not go. To a place where peyote rules the world, where whiskey fills your pockets and where walleye hang in the evening air like dew. (I have no idea. Really. None whatsoever.)

I hope to return to the non-physical world sometime next week. If I am too tired to blog at that time, I will turn over to you my OPML file and the name of a cheap mechanical turk to sort through it for you.



Please remember: We are still optimized for maximum incontinence.

And always will be.

This week on the listenerd

It will be mostly this.

Mates of State are ‘rent-blogging again

Catchy popsters Mates of State are blogging again on Nerve Media’s wannabe-hip parenting blog Babble. Only a couple updates in November, but watch Band on the Diaper Run for a taste of what it’s like to tour and parent simultaneously.

See also: “Low in Europe.”

META: I got a new job.

The daily links are going to be tougher to keep up with. Link round-ups will keep coming, though.

On the plus side, I will not be destroyed.

Meta: Back in Black

You’d think that after a week of mixing and mingling and heavy drinking and excessive pork consumption in Miami, a man would come back with a burst of creativity and an embarrassment of links.

Unfortunately, no. I am only worn, spent, and now somehow possessing far less brain power than I had when I left.

Despite this fact (or – yes – perhaps because of it), I am now primed to once again bring the mediocrity. Prepare, effers.


The Listenerd’s light posting schedule this week

Yes, things will be light all week on the listenerd, as I will be working 3X as hard as usual on the day job. On the plus side, I’ll probably get to hang with Ze and Bourdain. Pray for me.

Why sucks

Of the 41 possible reasons for this blog’s suckiness, 8.5 of them turn out to be true for our current endeavour:

1,7,16,18,19,38,39,41 (half point)

Shit; and now 14 (blogging about blogging), I guess.

Now blogging (more): Sasha Frere-Jones

New Yorker music critic Sashas Frere-Jones now has a New Yorker blog, in addition to his own bloggy site. He talks about Santo Gold first, but has yet to issue a blog challenge to fellow blogger KANYE WEST.

Now blogging: Kanye West

Reparts Rolling Stone. The blog part of Mr. West’s site is here, and he appears to be enamored by the attention of Perez Hilton and TMZ.

He seems to like sneakers and hip-hop videos, but also helpfully links to YouTube’s famous Grape Lady. [via Getty Images]

Meta: top posts this month are almost all dumb videos

Not music 2.0. Not breaking news. Not original content. The most interesting things here at the listenerd are apparently simple links, with little (preferably no!) commentary.

The top five posts for September 2007 (all links go to external content; they aren’t internal links to this blog):

*With a bullet: Swiss firefighters record Projec’t 118 rap video to inform citizens who to call when there’s a fire.

*Darth Vader plays blues harmonica.

*A nonsensical post mocking user The 40-year-old Spartan for the disconnect between his ultra-tough name and his less hardcore musical tastes (Maroon 5).

*A video of Winnie the Pooh doing the Soulja Boy dance.

*A video of Pavarotti and James Brown singing together.

Bottom ONE post of the month (this one pings back to the original post):

*An diatribe on the evils of black mead. AVOID: An irregular anti-recommendation service from the listenerd.

Wow: the PayPerPost Revolution?

I am doing some historical research on blogging. Long story. Day job. Reading the wikipedia entry for “blog,” I came across this section:

“Recently, through the mass popularity of sponsored post ventures such as PayPerPost a massive amount of personal blogs have started writing sponsored posts for advertisers wanting to boost buzz about new products and services. It has revolutionised the blogosphere almost in the same way that Google AdSense did.[16]”

The footnote (which leads nowhere):
“^ Eloquentia, Sponsors and the revolution of the blogosphere.”

Wow. Will have to check this out.