the listenerd

optimized for maximum incontinence

Tag: bono

Links for 3.28.11: Today is a new day.

*Instruments: Swedish police have seized a double-barrel shotgun built into the neck of a guitar…FOR EXCESSIVE AWESOMENESS. [neato]

*Books: By asking if Bono is quixotic, The Paris Review combines some of my favorite things with one of my most hated things. Classic shit sandwich, in addition to being a gentle musing on the continued cultural relevance of Cervantes’ classic. Thank you.

*Videogames: FarmVille has raised more than $3M for victims of the Japanese earthquake. Despite this fact, if you ever discover that I have played FarmVille, you have my permission to excommunicate me from your life. Further FarmVille reading: The Sunk Cost Fallacy. OK. Huh.

*Audio: The site GirlsMakingGunSounds consists of videos of girls making gun sounds. The site WorstGigs consists of musicians recounting some of their worst gigs. Is there no art left in the claiming of URLs?

*Platforms: Albums optimized for the iPad, if considered as an industry strategy, seem like the ultimate misunderstanding of how to survive, or how to become modern. You’ll note that I have more to say on this matter. Best regards.

*Art: Scott Campbell’s “Noblesse Oblige” includes a skull sculpture cut from $11k worth of dollar bills. Have I ever told you about the throne I’m making out of second generation iPads? (I told you about it yesterday.) [notcot]

*Note: I have eaten so few carbs today, I may have a permanent headache. Forever.

*Today’s links: F.

Advertisements

Links for 9.10.10: It’s 9:10:10

*Local: I think I will be going to this Northern Grade Americana retail extravaganza in Northeast Minneapolis tomorrow. It’s hard to explain. If you are going, too, I will be the rugged, reticent, semi-Nordic-looking one, shopping for $300 beaverskin gloves.

*OH BOY: Carl Corey has done a photo essay of middle-Wisconsin bars and taverns. If you ever have a chance to, ask me about Whiskey Dicks (sic). (In my opinion, Rhinelander is over-represented.) [eyeteeth]

*Musicianship: Do you know what Axl Rose puts on his contract rider these days? Two bear-shaped tubes of honey. Soy sauce. If this is fake, it’s VERY well thought out. Also, I agree with him about bear-shaped honey being better.

*Fires: The Valor bag by CLEVERSCENE is made from a retired firefighter’s coat. That is some RUGGED-ass shit. [notcot]

*Cycling: I have heard that this Horsey bike (by Eungi Kim) should actually be a unicorn. I, however, believe that it should actually be an oversized goat.

Speaking of cycles, I would also like to call your attention to the under-seat bottle opener. Maybe it’s just me, but I wouldn’t be able to take a sip without worrying that it would taste like a bicycle’s asshole.

*Literature: The New York Times weighs in on the ugly Virginia Quarterly Review situation.

*Money: Hypebot and Asymco say there’s about $1 BILLION a year in overhead wrapped up in running iTunes. Sounds like a lot of money.

*Money: The venture fund that Bono is a part of is “in deep, deep trouble.” That doesn’t make me happy. In fact, if I wasn’t wearing these sunglasses you’d see tears rolling down my face. (Again, not of joy.)

*Sports: The New York Times‘ “The Beauty of the Power of the Game” is a bunch of pictures, too. It’s female tennis players. And, like, dust and stuff.

*Dating: Everyone has passed these around, but if you haven’t seen them, here are OK Cupid’s analysis of the data from its dating site. So you know what white people really like? Tom Clancy. And Van Halen. (How are the Eagles not on here? Too young a crowd, I guess.)

*Today’s links: F. Weak effort. But I am getting back into shape here.

Links for 2.3.10: 23 Tips for Better Abs

*Space: The other day, I linked to an article about how silence is disappearing. But really, our country is relatively empty. Paradoxical? Or just a lazy lack of context by your blogger?

*World knowledge: Current information storage systems are fragile; data is ephemeral. And our memories are poor. (Screenplay: After the Information Age, in a dystopian post-apocalyptic future, a man with an incredible memory holds the key to humanity’s future. Starring Keith Richards. Directed by Johnny Depp. Call me.) [neural]

*Social media: This seems intuitive, but people typically have similar connections across social media. So your fingerprint of friends on one network can probably identify you on others. Anonymity is hard. And I’ve tried. Lord knows I’ve tried.

*Taxation: Enter your salary in USA Today‘s calculator to find out how much of your tax money goes where. My taxes are already done for 2009.

*U2: AC/DC’s Brian Johnson thinks Bono is being obnoxious about his charity work. Remind me to tell you about the time I was doing fact-checking for a Tumblr post about AC/DC and accidentally Googled the phrase “big balls.” (Never do that.) [tds]

*Innovation: The Mu Space (CONCEPT) music player is also a pillow. BUT IS IT A BODY PILLOW? (It is not.)

*Coincidence: So I both TUMBLED and TWEETED things about “Anti-Graffiti Bill” the other day. Now I learn that the amusingly ambiguous quirks of language such as that in the headline “Anti-Graffiti Bill in Denver Killed” are called crash blossoms.

*Today’s links: F.

Links for 1.6.10: 15 Ways to Better Abs

*Notice: The listenerd has a new style for titling posts. Henceforth, each post will have a title reminiscent of a Men’s Fitness cover cutline. Today’s title, you’ll notice, is 15 Ways to Better Abs. The next round-up post will be titled 16 Ways to Better Abs. The next, 17 Ways to Better Abs. And so on, until I tire of this practice. Please note that there is some accuracy in this headline, since laughing uproariously is the ideal way to get better abs.

*Interviews: The Onion A.V. Club talks to prop comedian Gallagher. And finds him to be one of the most ill-tempered, angry, rancorous subjects in recent memory. Incredible. [mefi]

*Visuals: This is a blog to watch – A Collection a Day, 2010. [swiss miss]

*Metal: Actor Christopher Lee has apparently made a symphonic metal conquest album about the life of Charlemagne.

*Ads: Kraft sponsors the destruction of Texas Stadium. KFC sponsors fire hydrants. The surprising thing here is that the fire hydrants do not shoot out gravy.

*Art: Picasso’s “little guitar” has been found in a shoebox. I have always liked Picasso as an artist due to his extreme baldness.

*Literature: Salon urges everyone to read a book they’ll hate this year. I have been thinking a lot about this one, and now believe the best-case scenario would be if Bono could do a “Pierre Menard, Author of the Quixote” experiment with Dan Brown’s “The Da Vinci Code.” THEN, I would read it. Let’s make this happen. Let’s make this happen.

*Music: The Tapeworm releases music exclusively on cassette tapes. I like it. [psfk]

*Today’s links: F.

Links for 1.4.10: 12 Tips for Better Abs

*Personal: My computer broke last week, my Blackberry died months ago and I’ve been stranded offline for the past four days. In that time I read three books and had two original thoughts. It was incredible. I’m thinking about becoming an expert on the Civil War or curing warts. MAYBE.

*Nature: The question weighing on so many people’s (and dolphins’) minds right now is:

Why is Bono allowed to write op-eds for the New York Times?
Also: Should dolphins be granted human status?
And, consequently: Who is the dolphin Bono?
Then: Should the dolphin Bono be allowed to write New York Times op-eds?
And finally: How do you cock-punch a dolphin? In the cock.

*Information: Read the Hype Machine’s 2009 Music Zeitgeist. There’s also a Zeitgeist radio show. Of sorts.

*Blogs: If you aren’t sick of blogs yet, Fimoculous has published his yearly list of blogs to watch. Personally, I hate blogs. But I heartily recommend Snarkmarket and Eat Me Daily. Another blog I recently found, and would recommend, is the tumblr of Pocketmonsterd.

*Tags: If you have time, read about how a physical folksonomy project nearly choked off a Dutch library. It’s better than reading a newspaper or just randomly clicking on some article recommended by someone else. Or a dumb fucking blog. [snarkmarket]

*Local: Minneapolis music blog Culture Bully has left the playground. We wish you all the best in your future endeavours. (I swear I will write the story and theory around that phrase this year. This will be it. This will be the year.)

*Art: Portraits made of crayons. Of people. I am awful with crayons, and my early artwork at school often indicated to teachers that I should be put among the “slow” students.

*Americans: “The archetypal American abroad is perceived as loud and crass even though actually existing American tourists are distinguished by the way they address bus drivers and bartenders as “sir” and are effusive in their thanks when any small service is rendered. We look on with some confusion at these encounters because, on the one hand, the Americans seem a bit country-bumpkinish, and, on the other, good manners are a form of sophistication.” I’m fascinated by sociology, and often wonder if I should get into some line of work that would help me engage that interest. (Read that whole article; it’s great.) [nostrich]

*Localish: Tad Friend writes about former University of Minnesota President Mark Yudof in the New Yorker. Yudof, whom my wife wrote various communications for while he was at the U of M, now works at the University of California, and is described as “the university’s unpopular president.” I had a late lunch at his house once. He was balder than me. Both at the time, and also, thankfully, balder even than I am RIGHT NOW. [braublog]

*Today’s links: The only part that was OK was the headline.

Links for 10.19.09: Dude, Sarah Palin, Bono

*Language: Esquire’s “State of Modern Language for Men” has many points with which I disagree. Firstly, “dude” has not been retired. It has been made so ubiquitous that it’s utility is approaching infinity. Learn the difference, assholes.

*Consumption: The American List helps you buy American. I guess. [joshspear]

*Bono: Bono thinks it’s time to rebrand America. Even his attempts at striking a self-deprecating tone reek of smugness. And eelpout.

*Sport: Parahawking is skydiving with hawks. Sure, but I would like to see this done by a person wearing a suit made out of meat. [neatorama]

*Networking: Sarah Palin has a profile on LinkedIn. It doesn’t look like we’re that closely connected. [jimray]

*TV: I struggle to NOT link to The Mad Men Power Rankings on a weekly basis. And if you think THAT sounds like an internal battle, ask me about my love for getting really fat and talking about how bald I am.

*Today’s grade: Weak.

Links for 7.11.09: Bono, Bruno, Assholes, Robots and Doom

*Bono: Bono wants to rebrand Africa. Remember those pictures of him with those bikini girls? Good times.

*Email: Emails from an Asshole. I get these every day. But from different people. [harper’s]

*Robots: A robot rises over Tokyo. Let us all pray that this thing never truly comes alive. [daringfireball]

*The internet: According to Pew Internet data, we just passed the point where half the people in the U.S. go online every day. Relatively speaking, no one donates to charity or listens to podcasts. [waxy]

*Twitter: Rob Walker of the NYT thinks Twitter is all about play. There are a thousand different use cases for Twitter and this talks about just one of them. Is using Twitter as an ersatz RSS reader “play”? It isn’t – well, at least it isn’t if watching TV or reading the NYT online aren’t.

*Panic: Doomwatch analyses news sources to tell you what to worry about now. (Currently: Murder.) [presurfer]

*Movies: The New Yorker‘s Anthony Lane reviews Brüno: “Brüno” demonstrates, to one’s growing disappointment and dismay, is a vehemently gifted man putting his body to it and leaving his mind behind.” Previously: A near-review from The Awl.

*Money: It takes over $10k annually to run Neatorama?

*Economy: Noted Doomster Nouriel Roubini thinks the recession will last another six months and that the recovery will be slow and shallow. It once took me nearly three months to recover from a slight ankle sprain, apropos of very little. Related: Check out Damon Rich’s Panorama of foreclosures. [bits]

Links for 5.5.09: Bono’s poetry, Dr. Pepper’s recipe, Van Gogh’s ear…

*Evil: Many people hate poetry. Many people hate Bono. Everyone hates Bono’s poetry. I would draw a VENN diagram of this, but it would be covered in human bile, and therefore illegible. [pop candy]

*Beverage: The original formula for Dr. Pepper was an 1880s recipe for D Peppers Pepsin Bitters! Empirical research would lead me to believe that this same formula is still in use. [licensing plate]

*Consumption: Megan is moving and selling ALL her stuff. Via a gorgeously orderly online catalog – GoodbyeWaffleMaker. [swiss miss]

*Breaking: Van Gogh didn’t cut off his own ear, Gauguin did. Maybe. These two. [bits]

*Sports: I’m trying to figure out exactly what coasteering is. I think it has something to do with ritual suicide, but with lots of helmets and life jackets, which I’m sure is to make the act even more humiliating. [mefi]

*More poetry: Poets ranked by beard weight. Weird that Homer didn’t win? What? [buzzfeed]

*NOTE: I will dedicate a eupemism to my 500th twitter follower.

Links for 3.31.09: U2, The Quiet Coup, Twit Wit…

  • Declaration: I don’t believe in April Fool’s Day.
  • BONO: The New Yorker‘s Sasha Frere-Jones does NOT trash Bono. Have I mentioned that I don’t like Bono? Or his glasses? And that kids used to call me Joshua Tree?
  • Economy: Walgreen’s is offering free quickie clinic trips to the newly unemployed.
  • I’m bookmarking this. Oh fuck, this is my work computer. Remind me, people, if necessary.

  • Economy: Read “The Quiet Coup” in The Atlantic – “In its depth and suddenness, the U.S. economic and financial crisis is shockingly reminiscent of moments we have recently seen in emerging markets (and only in emerging markets): South Korea (1997), Malaysia (1998), Russia and Argentina (time and again).” [keating]
  • Mothering: The picture that follows is not of an alien. [callmebez]
  • Twitter: The guy who’s editing Twit Wit, a book on twitter humor made from other people’s tweets, thinks nobody is funny on Twitter. Twitter. Twitter.
  • Local: Check out these photos of the Red River flooding. Moving earth, sandbagging, homes underwater. [good]
  • Crying: If you’re not crying into your cupped hands right now, maybe you should watch an old, old Leonard Cohen sing “Hallellujah” at his comeback concert. The guy’s no Jeff Buckley. KIDDING! (Don’t kill me.)
  • Today’s links: F+. Too heavy, bad quips, links mediocre and my fucking bullets now look weird. Buck the fuck up or go home, Joshua Tree.

Links for 2.28.09: Harvey dies, fake beards, flying penis omitted…

*Radio: Paul Harvey died.

*Beards: I have two items on beards to share today: 1) Are you a Christian hipster? (I am not.) 2) Beardhead – a combination winter scarf and fake beard. [lhb, kate]

*Lists: Are these the 100 worst album covers ever? And are these the 20 weirdest album covers? [eyeteeth, tds]

*Quotes: Howard Zinn talks about Viggo Mortensen, “I saw Viggo Mortensen on the “Charlie Rose Show” wearing a T-shirt – “Impeach, Remove, Jail” — that made me think, “Oh, Viggo Mortensen — he’s a serious political thinker.” I need one of these t-shirts.

*Bono: I have something in common with Bono’s children after all. United in our embarrassment, we shall stand together until the end of time. (I don’t know where that came from. Well. The heart, I guess.)

*Music players: Mufin is a music player that sorts your music collection by sound. (I haven’t tried it yet.) [cnet]

*Twitter: In the New York Times, Alessandra Stanley writes probably one of the most strangely angry articles about twitter you’ll see this week. “Those who say Twitter is a harmless pastime, which skeptics are free to ignore, are ignoring the corrosive secondary effects.”

*Side Twitter note: Is their revenue plan to take a cut from Big Telecom on SMS messages? Also: Google is on Twitter.

*Experience: 99 Things You Should Have Already Experienced on the Internet Unless You’re a Loser or Old or Something. Memorize this list. And visit each site at least a few times. I’m just glad lemon party didn’t make it. Don’t ever ever ever go there. Trust me. As with any list, I need to quibble with one omission – No Kasparov attacked by remote control flying penis? [coudal]

*Sam Beam beamcast update: No word from Sam Beam about the beamcast I have repeatedly proposed…

*Today’s links: C effing +. (The remote control flying penis was the +.)

Video: U2’s “Get Your Boots On” music video

I have previously mentioned my disdain for Bono, so I will refrain from doing so again.

[universal]

Links for 1.11.08: New Yorker on Bon Iver, Bono in the Times, gamers in Poetry, me home…

*Report: I stepped away for a bit, so apologies if any of this is old news.

*Articles: The most enjoyable read waiting for me upon my return from the vast halls of hell was this piece by Sasha Frere-Jones in the New Yorker about Bon Iver (aka Justin Vernon). In it, Frere-Jones writes “The songs from “For Emma,” which Vernon once described as merely “demos” to his friends, feel complete, now that he has had more than a year to play them live.”

Frere-Jones goes on to interview Vernon for a site video, and mentions the new Bon Iver EP, “Blood Bank” in a blog post.

*Articles: The least enjoyable read upon my return from the vast halls of hell was this article by Bono, which appeared on the op-ed page of the New York Times. Because it’s Bono. Also, because “Glasses clinking clicking, clashing crashing in Gaelic revelry: swinging doors, sweethearts falling in and out of the season’s blessings, family feuds subsumed or resumed.”

*Poetry: From “The First Line is the Deepest” by Kim Addonizio in Poetry

“Why does one month have to be the cruelest,
can’t they all be equally cruel? I have seen the best

gamers of your generation, joysticking their mi tanks through
the sewage-filled streets.”

*2008: Hype Machine ran its Music Blog Zeitgeist of 2008 list. MGMT tops the artist list, ahead of Radiohead.

*Nuptials: Fergie got married to that Dude from Las Vegas. Remember when Fergie was the Listenerd familiar? Back when she was performing regularly with the Black Eyed Peas? And becoming incontinent on stage?

*Twitter: Do you want to follow Karl Rove on Twitter? Also, Ray Pruit. (You should know who Ray Pruit is. If you’re old.)

*TV: Look at these pictures of the abandoned soundstage from HBO’s The Wire. While listening to Bon Iver. And being a big, emotional baby. [medialoper]

*Posters: Shepard Fairey issues an Obama Inauguration poster. I’m looking forward to the Obama 100 Days poster and the Obama Bought a Dog poster. Also, $$$$$. [coolhunting]

Links for 11.25.08: Bono’s music store, Forte’s pardon, Obamafy yourself…

*Downloads: Bono is going into the business of selling music with (Red) Wire, a digital download and discovery service. He’ll give a portion of the proceeds to the Global Fund, but he’ll probably be a prick about it.

*Pardon me?: President Bush pardons rapper John Forte, who was in jail on drug charges. Could Dubya be a closet Fugees fan?

*Digital music: Sales for Atlantic Records’ digital music eclipsed sales of their physical music for the same period.

*Nose flutes: If you can’t appreciate a good roundup of nose flute videos, I don’t know what you can appreciate. Though it’s probably some highfalutin’ bullshit. As I will point out in the comments of the linked-to post, however, they have forgotten the unforgettable “Sophie Monk Double-Nose Flute Incident” in their collection.

*Biz: How tethered to Apple is the growth of digital music (the paid kind)? I would just like to point out that wide swaths of the economy are going into the shitter. WIDE swaths. OK?

*Propaganda: The Obamafy plug-in allows you to turn your Photo Booth photos into Shepard Fairey-like propaganda. HOPE. [the duty]

*Black Eyed Peas: Fergie is recording vocals for Slash’s – formerly of a little band called GUNS N’ ROSES – forthcoming album. I feel sort of bad for almost abandoning Fergie content, but she hasn’t peed herself in years. OK?

*Local: Oh, look. Nine Inch Nails is in town, and Trent Reznor is taking pictures of manhole covers!

*Twitter: Shaquille O’Neal has been twittering his thoughts on the Natalie Holloway case. What?

*Personal: Seriously. I’m very tired by the end of the day. OK?

Links for 11.3.08: Def Jam’s loss, AC/DC’s Wal-mart, Bono’s stall…

*Obits: The head of Def Jam records, Shakir Stewart, killed himself. He was 34. I’m 34. Ugh.

*Retail: This is where I will be spending the next four years if the election goes badly. “At 12:01 A.M. on October 20th, Wal-Mart opened a temporary 3,000-square-foot store on Hollywood Boulevard devoted entirely to AC/DC’s new album, Black Ice.” It is what they call “all in,” motherfuckers. [licensing plate]

*Bono: The U2 Tower, a dockside development in Dublin that includes a recording studio and some sort of edifice, has been put on hold due to the worldwide economic meltdown. The tower, as it was known, was to have been built to resemble Bono’s sunglasses.

*Money: MTV will soon offer rights holders an option: They can have copyright-protected materials that are user-uploaded removed OR they can have revenue-generated ads placed around those videos.

*Automotive: I blogged previously about Neil Young trying to take his car clean tech. More on his efforts at Linc Volt, via Venture Beat. If anyone wants to steal my grease for biodiesel, I’d appreciate being informed ahead of time. And THAT IS a euphemism.

*Sleep: The Boston Globe offers up a diagram full of hints on napping. I notice there is no mention of Benjamin Franklin’s cold-air bath. Disappointingzzzzzzz. [swiss miss]

*Fashion: Converse will roll out Black Sabbath-brandend shoes in time for the holiday season. Because who doesn’t appreciate the gift of satanic footwear?

*New Yorker: Sasha-Frere Jones writes about the rise of country music’s Taylor Swift, visiting St. Paul’s Excel Energy Center in the process. Oh, and he came dangerously close to hating on St. Paul while he was here, too! Weee!

*Notice: Americans, there is an election tomorrow. You know what to do.