the listenerd

optimized for maximum incontinence

Tag: john malkovich

Links for 6.3.09: Sexy uglies, wild dog commuters, Seeking Seekins, pudding…

*Cork: Is it art or is it cork? This reminds me, I have several cases of wine that need drinking. Boxed wine. But I will be wearing cork pants while drinking it. [bits]

*Twitter: Two interesting tidbits from this post from Economix (a highly recommended blog from the NYT) about Twitter – 1) The median number of lifetime tweets among all twitter users is one. 2) Men are 15% more likely to follow men on twitter than they are to follow women. Also, Kirstie Alley may have found her medium. I don’t know what that says about her. Or the medium.

*Music covers: The 20 personality traits of record and CD covers. They’re not exactly personality traits, but they do point out some of the form’s shorthand. [presurfer]

*Trailers: The video for the Beatles Rock Band game is lovely and amazing and animated and lovely and nice. Bollocks.

*Food: Ice cream that turns into pudding? What will they think of next? Beer that turns into martinis? OMG, BRB. [lowindustrial]

*Humans: Nerve puts out its own list of the 20 Sexiest Ugly People. Biz Markie at #15 is an inspired choice. Additionally, and for the record, my looks have been compared to John Malkovich’s on a number of occasions. And now I’m crying. Crying into my cupped hands. While typing this. [urlesque]

*States: In Nate Silver’s (is he Sir Nate Silver yet?) most recent article for Esquire, he points out that Minnesotans are happier with the state they live in than Hawaiians, and are near the top of the happy meter among states. (The article doesn’t appear to be online yet.)

*Local: I saw Minneapolis artist and man-about-town Scott Seekins yesterday and promptly reported him to SeekingSeekins. (I used the name JOSH in this report and may have exaggerated some portions of the encounter/sighting. Don’t hate me because I’m stupid. Or because I look like John Malkovich.)

*Commuting: Wild dogs take the commuter trains from the suburbs to the city in Russia. Fucking freeloaders. [treehugger]

*Local: A short story in the fiction issue of the New Yorker by Jonathan Franzen takes place in our beloved St. Paul. This local blogger was contacted by a NYer fact checker about the story.

Also, Heavy Table names the city’s two worst cups of coffee. AND I AGREE. (Also, Nina’s has pretty nasty coffee. Java Train also pours a terrible cup. Great train, though.) [brauer]

*AN OPEN LETTER TO HARPER’S: Open up your RSS feed. Make your page somewhat readable. Good content; please let me see access it without such pain. Thank you.

Links for 1.26.09: No jobs, John Malkovich and the rest is noise…

*Apocalypse now: More than 71,400 people were laid off in the United States today. If you’re supposed to be greedy when others are afraid, it’s time. Additionally, a colleague at the day job notes that American Express is reporting that spending among their clientele – who are far above average in wealth – has dipped 10% over last year. Consumer spending is plummeting.

*Movies: In a story on movie marketing in the New Yorker, Tad Friend quotes one studio head as saying, “If we weren’t making decisions based on marketability, John Malkovich would be in every movie. Great actor, but not someone you want to see half-naked in the sheets next to Angelina Jolie.”

I need not point out to die-hard listenerd readers than my physical likeness has often been compared to that of Mr. Malkovich, as early as THIS MONTH. GOODBYE FOREVER.

*Instruments: HOLY. I can’t say it any better than the site itself: “The bikelophone produces sounds ranging from tranquil bliss to cacophonic terror.” Oh, good? MP3s are here, but listen at your own risk. [networked music review]

*Ads: Google will stop selling ads in print next month. The program wasn’t working (and wasn’t likely to go anywhere, given the economy).

*Games: I can’t stop playing scriball, which might indicate just how retarded I’ve become. Or how willing to retreat to a land of lines and balls I am. (Don’t read too much into that.)

*Twitter: John McCain is on Twitter now. I guess? [buzzfeed]

*Prose: This sentence is perhaps the best I have read in the last month, from Gothamist, of all places: “The mysterious case of The Penistrator—an unidentified “snowfitti” vandal who’s been drawing phallic symbols on snowy cars parked in the East Village this winter—has taken a shocking, unexpected turn.” Furthermore, Haley Joel Osment is suspected to be the Penistrator.

Off topic video: “Burn After Reading” red band trailer

The new Coen Brothers movie with all the regular, including listenerd mascot John Malkovich.

Off-topic video: John Malkovich bathtub interview

Perhaps you will be as amused, disturbed and disgusted as I was. (Sorry about the dumb pre-roll ads, etc.) [laughing squid]

Video: John Malkovich-narrated documentary about poet Charles Olson

Some people say I look like John Malkovich. Not a young John Malkovich or a younger John Malkovich, mind you. Simply, “like John Malkovich.”

This fact haunts me. Also, there are capes involved. And scary talk.

The movie “Polis Is This” addresses the poetry of Charles Olson, and is narrated by Mr. Malkovich.