the listenerd

optimized for maximum incontinence

Tag: movies

Links for December 2, 2011: The godfather of the straw, and other sucky tales

Sports: Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers owns a record label? [daily swarm]

Visuals: This one goes out to all of you penis lovers! Peruse – and re-order! – the 9 greatest penis moments in movie history. This seems like something Mark Lisanti should have written! (I don’t know.)

Local: Who Is Bon Iver?: A tumblr of ignorance and shame. (Subtitle mine.)

Television: David Milch is going to be developing some of Faulkner’s work for HBO. I loved Milch’s “Deadwood,” though, LIKE SO MANY, was completely annoyed with the way the series ended. To this day, I hold a little bit of Al Swearingen in me (his greasy hair).

Question: Is this a Spaghetti-Os pizza or a pizza crust that has been vomited on? (Consider this question to be like a captcha.)

Videos: NME has compiled a list of the worst videos ever. I guess I don’t know anything anymore. About anything. [spincity]

Sound: If you don’t have fun playing with this sound board, The Rap Board, then you are not a human being. I will never not love DMX barking. [coudal]

Innovation: Read about the history of the bendy straw. “Stone refined it by building a machine to wind paper into a tube and coat the outside with a paraffin wax to keep it from melting in bourbon. He patented the product in 1888. Today, Marvin Chester Stone is considered the godfather of the straw.”

Today’s links: F. I have so much more to give. So much more. To give. (But no time to sort it.)

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Watch Arnold Schwarzenegger’s DVD commentary for Total Recall

To be perfectly honest, this is exactly how I imagine I sound whenever I talk.

Video: Big Trouble in Little China supercut

It’s a little known fact that “Big Trouble in Little China” is my favorite movie of all time.

Links for 4.12.10: 81 Tips for Better Abs and Cleaner Lines

*Writing: The Awl digs into scary bearded Christian rockers, WinterBand. “If you close your eyes and pretend you’re not listening to a crew of inflammatory religious fanatics who dress like homeless warlocks, they’re actually pretty hilarious in a campy sort of way.”

*Gratuity: The Consumerist links to a bunch of tipping articles, including a New York Post article on “tip-jar madness.” I have long thought that the history of tipping would be a good topic for a longer treatment.

*Chilling headline of the century: “Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital.

*Food: The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine wants a warning label put on KFC’s Double Down Sandwich. I have a lifelong fascination with gluttony. [coudal]

*Money: This weekend, This American Life ran an episode that, with reporting from ProPublica, told the story of Magnetar, a hedge fund that made money during the economic downturn by FUELING the collapse.

*Film: Is Chasing Amy the worst movie of all time? Read this post if only for the sexual bons mots. I don’t know if that phrase means anything, but it should be a thing.

*Today’s links: F.

Video: A supercut of movie mirror scares

[waxy]

Links for 11.7.09: Surly beer, mushroom pants and God’s jail

*Art: The Manshroom – for your walls. And loins. I don’t know why I said that. [eat me daily]

*The Law: Oklahoma is starting a prison for Christians that will be run by Christians. [harper’s]

*Drinks: The company that makes Angostura Bitters almost went under due to the recession, which would have kicked off a martini and old fashioned crisis the likes of which the world has never known.

*Video: Watch all of this season’s one-liners from Mad Men’s Roger Sterling. [vulture]

*Beer: Read this interview with the couple behind Surly Brewing. “The turning point probably was in June 2007, when Beer Advocate magazine named Surly the number-one brewery in the United States.” [heavy table]

*Music: Learn about songs that retell works of literature via Wikipedia. Let’s not forget that The Decemberists’ “On the Bus Mall” is based on “My Own Private Idaho.” (I don’t know where that came from either.) [neatorama]

*Charts: This movie narrative chart of “Lord of the Rings” from xkcd is like Andrew Quo nerdness X3. I prefer nerdness to nerdiness in this case. Not sure why. Go forth and conquer.

*Today’s links: There are no words.

Video: Pulp Fiction Audio Mix

Please don’t make me recommend this anymore than I already just did.

[urlesque]

Links for 10.9.09: Bombing the moon, bros, and DUDE we BOMBED the MOON!!!11

*Events: Kind of a big day today. We bombed the moon and Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. Also, WE BOMBED THE FUCK OUT OF THE MOON!!!

*Photography: Who wants to see pictures of flies peeing? As a kind of break from all the excitement. [eyeteeth]

*Literature: The Brocyclopedia – “‘Broseph’ was originally a term reserved for a bro or bra named “Joseph,” but the broseph has since evolved into an entirely separate sub-category of bro.” The funny thing is, this isn’t some McSweeney’s Dave Eggers bullshit. It’s cultural history. Or so I currently feel like claiming.

*Movies: David Wyatt writes in the Virginia Quarterly Review about “Star Wars and the Productions of Time.” On the Luke-Han continuum, I am indifferent and embarrassed to even know that much. [harper’s]

*Beer: Read this interview with the most interesting man in the world. The guy from the Dos Equis beer commercials.

*Recession: Guys with mustaches make more money than dudes with beards or clean-shaven men. I have been unable to sustain a mustache for longer than a half hour at any point in my life due to the overwhelming pressures of normal society. [huffpo]

*Local: Har Mar Superstar has to be one HELL of a partier, because he somehow has projects going. Still. And knows people. And WHAT? He’s writing a movie with Ellen Page. I will point out to those unfamiliar with this blog that Har Mar Mall is my local mall and say further that the pet store there smells like a dead body in a dumpster full of Chinese food that your co-worker made for lunch two days ago. Or worse.

*Punctuation: ;

*Today’s grade: Stay of execution. No American blog post fails today, since we bombed that God damn moon back to where it fucking belongs. SPACE.

Links for 9.27.09: Blood lamps, movie poster mashups, Safire dies…

*Lighting: The blood lamp requires a drop of blood to give off light. They should make a blood internet. [neatorama]

*Mashups: Two movies, one poster. We are all mashups now. There will be posters. I’m all out of lazy headlines. [videogum]

*Head injuries: Alcohol is good for head injuries. Buy me a beer someday and I will tell you about my roommate from freshman year in college, who loved cheese curds and Mountain Dew and fell down a flight of stairs drunk one night and bashed his head. Great times. Great times. [harper’s]

*Inspirational bullshit: A couple things to read or look at, if you like reading or looking at things. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

*Obits: William Safire died. The Nixon stuff, I wasn’t that crazy about. The weird word stuff was pretty cool, though. Also, I think he inspired one of my favorite Onion pieces. Also, holy fuck, one of my favorite Onion pieces is almost ten years old? (I was reading the Onion – stories about Jesus leaking beer from his stigmata – back when it was on paper, and only available in Madison.)

*Today’s grade: F. Keep striving.

Links for 9.8.09: Lucinda weds, Britney covers, Hornby namechecks

*Weddings: Lucinda Williams is getting married in Minneapolis – actually, she’s getting married on stage at First Avenue, to former Best Buy executive Tom Overby. [mnspeak]

*Television: Former Defamer editor Mark Lisanti now writes – and WRITES VERY WELL – for Movieline. I especially recommend paying attention to the Mad Men Power Rankings, particularly the Don Draper Fingerbang Threat Level. It can be a volatile metric.

*Culture Jamming: Perhaps you would like to chuckle contentedly at these crosswalk sign hacks. Oh, subversion! I should mention here that I once put a Campbell’s soup can into a Progresso soup in-aisle dispenser. Also, I saw a bunch of high school friends of mine this weekend and they reminded me that I’m 30 lbs overweight. It’s complicated, but this is all related. [neural]

*Comics: Check out these visually arresting remixed comic book covers. Please note: I have never bought a comic book, though I was gifted the first four issues of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles back in the day. Even upon perusal, I was nonplussed. Yeah, even at a tender age, nonplussed. I was a weird kid.

*Blogging: Nick Hornby namechecks the music blogs he likes to read, including Aquarium Drunkard and Largehearted Boy. So now you know which music blogs to take off your reading list. Or risk becoming more like Nick Hornby.

*Vizzies: The excellent Hierarchy of Digital Distractions helps you categorize what divides your attention. [magnetbox]

*Documentaries: “American Artifact” is a documentary film about rock and roll posters. This is code for “optimized for maximum incontinence.” [coudal]

*Arachnids: David Bowie has a spider named after him. However, irregardless (yes, irregardless) of this fact, David Bowie will henceforth be associated first and foremost with NIPPLE ANTENNAE. Like, that’s his thing now. It just is. It has even trumped his normal space shit and his androgyny and weird teeth. [coudal again!]

*Covers: Britney Spears covers Alanis’ “You Oughta Know.” [idolator]

*Grade: Perpetual F. For Forget comma never. Ever.

Links for 8.8.09: Unemployment, Lolla, Lebowksi, Pynchon and Hughes

*Watch: Video clips of live sets at Lollapalooza. Well, if you time it right. How much of life is timing again? I knew the answer to that at the time I began writing this bullet. [shorties]

*Playlists: CitySounds.fm allows you to listen to the soundtracks of cities from around the world. Sadly, no Minneapolis. We peaked at Prince. Effers. [magnetbox]

*Twitter: When Twitter is down. [negatendo]

*Movies: John Hughes’ former teenage pen pal tells all.

*Surgery: Disney is performing vasectomies on elephants. Apropos of something. I just don’t know what. But I will. Someday. [harper’s]

*Architecture: David Byrne is doing his Playing the Building music/architecture mashup thing again, this time with a building in London.

*Unemployment: Economists react to the latest unemployment numbers. But what if they have unemployed economists react to them? You see where I’m going with this? Right? No. Then go away forever.

*Reading: The Virginia Quarterly Review (which for a lit rag has a surprisingly good online presence) compares Thomas Pynchon’s new novel, “Inherent Vice,” with “The Big Lebowski.”

Links for 4.19.09: Dylan’s grandkids, fire graffiti, Spinal Tap…

*Vandalism: Fire graffiti. Easily the best kind of graffiti. Except for carving your name in trees. [eyeteeth]

*Watch: A video to sit through, should you like to hear the Super Mario theme played on laser cutters.

*Dylan: 20 things you did not know about Bob Dylan. He has 9 grandchildren. [shorties]

*Illustrations: Read the blog of a man who draws everything he eats. [murketing]

*Apple: Apparently, the iPod Touch is becoming part of the modern American soldier’s arsenal. Also, I am thinking of ditching my voip and just doing conference calls from a Touch + Skype. If anyone has any experience in this regard (and/or recommendations), your thoughts and prayers are appreciated.

*Movies: What Spinal Tap did to our culture. I grew up fearing spontaneous human combustion. Thanks, dad.

*Today’s links: D-.

Links for 2.19.09: Daniel Johnston on art, Retweeting vs. Favrding and chicken

*Podcast: Still no traction in my quest to convince Iron and Wine’s Sam Beam to record a comedic podcast with me (the listenerd’s first), though I have now figured out my 2nd interview question: “Do you know any jokes?” Doubtless, he will have one that makes use of the homophonic phrase “Mountin’ Party.” DOUBTLESS.

*Interviews: Harvey Pekar interviews Daniel Johnston in Black Book. Holy weirdness. This is like me talking to…Sam Beam. Or something. DJ: “My writing is an absentminded, subconscious kind of thing. I’m lucky if I write a song a week, but I like to try every day. It’s always been that way.”

*Graphics: This flowchart for porno movies is not safe for work at all.

*Social graphs: I recommend looking at the Facebook Nexus. If you are interested in getting your MIND BLOWN about things that probably don’t mean much. I feel bad for the dots that only have me. [the deets]

*Eating: A Flick photo pool called The Fried Chicken Pantheon collects pictures of dining establishments that serve chicken. I am ON RECORD as saying that the Famous Bowl is man’s most incredible creation. [coudal]

*Marketing: What brands do 19 teens and tweens associate with music? You can see the answer to that question, here. MTV! Apple! Facebook! Huh. [ypulse]

*Beards: Can you put 2,000 toothpicks in your beard? OK, how many chopsticks? [urlesque]

*Movies: The Art of the Title Sequence takes a look at the good beginning parts of all kinds of movies, and even offering commentary on them. Here’s 300. [good]

*Twitter: Read this post about “Twitter’s two cultures,” Favrders and Retweeters. I’m neutral in this debate, but retweeters are retarded morons. [fimoculous]

Quick links 2.17.09: Music vs. Sex, Minneapolis food and blogging, SPARK and whatever…

*Time: I have awoken at around 4 a.m. the last two days. Due to my own deliriousness, I will keep this short, though there is actually much I’d like to crank out right now.

*Performance: SPARK, a totally geeked out music thing – I mean a “Festival of Electronic Music and Arts” – is hitting the Twin Cities tonight through Sunday. (Warning: This festival was recommended to me by a diehard Burning Man attendee and it features a performance called “Rocks and Bottles.” ) [steuer]

*Sex: 60% of 16 – 24-year-olds would rather go without sex than go without music for a week. (I haven’t had time to read the linked-to study yet. Maybe at 4:30 tomorrow.)

*Cinema: If you like looking at things (and I, for one, love this activity), I will recommend to you Film Stills. “I feel like certain frames of films should be studied like photographs.” I barely read any more words than that. Nice pictures, though. [coudal]

*Local: With Denton-esque flair, The Deets’ Ed Kohler holds a blog post (about alt-weekly City Pages Advertising Department employees writing positive reviews for companies who advertise with them) hostage, asking prospective readers to bid money to see the post killed or released (they paid; and it was released early). **Side note: Ed Kohler has made an implicit promise to teach me how to twitter correctly.

***Further, somewhat related note: Heavy Table, a new online food magazine for the Upper Midwest has launched. Reading about food is like eating newspaper. I just made that up. I think. And in the nick of time, given the impending death of print. And the imminent food shortage.