the listenerd

optimized for maximum incontinence

Tag: natalie portman

Links for 8.27.09: Mythical creatures, KISScakes, Motel 6…

*Brands: Motel 6 is offering free lodging to up-and-coming bands, in the tradition of Denny’s. Tradition? Denny’s? [ypulse]

*Mashups: What are mythical creatures made of? Ask a VENN diagram! Or a VENN-like diagram! [notcot]

*Points of view: Five years after it’s an interesting question, Paste asks if music ownership is irrelevant. This is the kind of essay the Daily Swarm should be publishing. But more timely. Snap. [earfarm]

*Quotations: “I’ve mostly been listening to dirty rap lately. That’s sort of my scene.” – Natalie Portman [huffpo]

*Animation: I have linked to pages of animated GIFs before. However, I shall never tire of it. Never. [buzzfeed]

*Photography: KISS cupcakes are pastries in Satan’s Service. Also known as PISS. But you got that. [spin]

*The Law: The Smoking Gun was the first to find an old John Mayer mugshot, shaming TMZ. Kidding. Shame. TMZ. Ha. Ugh.

*Important news: Greasing a bridge with butter. Hmmm. [eat me daily]

*Grade: F

Video: ‘Between Two Ferns’ with Natalie Portman

Not as good as the Jon Hamm fern interview. But there’s a nude dog in it. And some deadpanning.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Links for 1.28.09: Phoenix’s rap, musical injuries and death…

*Rap: Joaquin Phoenix’s rap career was a “hoax“? Apparently, these people did not get the memo about the changing nature of the concept “real.” And by “these people,” I have no idea who I’m talking about.

*Pornography: The genre of SFW porn is on the rise. Well, if saying the F-word is still SFW. Here’s a semi-SFW porny spoof of The Office, XXX Office. [best week ever]

*Mixtapes: Muxtape returns as a site that has almost none of the functionality of the original. They retain, however, the euphonic name “Muxtape.” Weeeeee.

*Football: Ear Farm pulls together the Super Bowl thoughts and predictions of the indie music world. Because everybody wants to know Dan Deacon’s take on the big game.

*Nerdery: Star Wars goes horror with Deathtroopers. [hinto]

*Death: John Updike died. You knew that. Dozens of novels published, and his NYT obit calls him “almost blogger-like.”

*Local economy: More bad news – On Tuesday, Target and Best Buy announced layoffs (900 positions eliminated at Target HQ), piggybacking on the tens of thousands of jobs that went away on Monday. I just report this stuff people. People who are interested in musical ephemera and obscure web culture want to hear about harsh economic realities, right?

*The Annals of Medicine: Even though, as this metafilter post points out, “cello scrotum” is a hoax, it’s still fun to read about music-related injuries. “The instrument itself, as result of its composition, weight, and shape, together with the force required to play it and the prolonged and repetitive nature of practice, may lead to a host of instrument specific injuries.”

*Beards: Devendra shaved his. OH NO. It probably has something to do with the Natalie Portman break-up.

*Localish: Check out The Hold Steady on the public radio show Sound Opinions. [mfr]

Links for 10.20.08: iLike pays, Palin winks, Pandora cuts…

*Business models: iLike is going to start paying artists when their music gets listened to. [mashable]

*Hustle and/or flow: NPR talks to Terrence Howard, who just put out his first album. “My dream was to be a physicist.” I should say that I have always dreamt of being retired.

*Finance: Russell Simmons is advising that the residential real estate market is a BUY. [dailyswarm]

*Excuse me?: Secret Society is an 18-piece steampunk jazz ensemble. They’re recording their first album in December. [3quarksdaily]

*Recession: Pandora lays off 14% of its staff.

*Politics: Sarah Palin winking depicted in LEGOs. It is appropriately grotesque!

*Global Financial Meltdown: Natalie Portman and Rashida Jones frolicking for finance. FROLICKING, I TELL YOU.

*Philanthropy: Local music blog Culture Bully is doing a 60-hour blogathon for charity. I don’t have any idea what a blogathon is.

*I saw Diane Keaton at dinner last night.

Links for 9.26.08: Bono blogs, Prince abstains, Bon Iver cries…

*Enigmas: Prince says to USA Today: “I’m single, celibate and sexy. I feel free.” Like Bob Dylan, the man knows how to be weird. Kudos.

*Money: A royalties deal is done for online music.

*Bono: Bono is blogging for the Financial Times. Probably with his dumb glasses on. Also, I don’t think he should start sentences or posts with the word “myself”! Gawd!

*Literature: More excerpts from Faith Evans’ book: “I called Big to share the news.” “He didn’t sound happy or sad. Just very noncommittal. ‘You keeping it?’ he asked. ‘Yeah. I am,’ I said. It was a quiet moment. ‘Are you sure?'” [bossip]

*Music: Bon Iver plays for NPR’s World Cafe. And then we both weep loudly into our hot coffee and stare out the window as the snow falls. [music slut]

*Blogging: Lil Wayne is blogging for ESPN. [everywhere]

*Love: Pubic hair exhibitionist Devendra Banhart and Natalie Portman have broken up.

*Upcycling: A cassette tape becomes a wallet.

*Video: Diesel makes a porn-without-the-porn viral video, SFW XXX, which I don’t really consider SFW (unless you have my job). [rob]

Links for 8.11.08: Byrne’s bikes, the coming apocalypse, iTunes $$$…

*David Byrne: First he made a building sing. Now he has designed some New York City bike racks. Next? [coudal]

*Biz: Coolfer asks, is the iTunes music store a huge money-maker or a break-even proposition meant to prop up hardware sales?

*Apocalypse: Greg Gillis of Girl Talk will be playing his final concert (and, indeed, the world’s final concert) on December 12, 2012, the day of the apocalypse according to the Mayan calendar. I am not buying tickets, but might try to crash the show.

*The Markets: Live Nation stock bounced 28% after its earnings report last Thursday.

*Consumer insights: Hipster Runoff runs an infographic of what you see when you go to music festivals. I highly recommend that you look at it, as it is colorful, accurate, and easily consumed.

*Things you know: Isaac Hayes died. Then Slate asks: Where do Scientologists go when they die? [spin city]

*Fashion: T-shirts for fake bands. You know what would be a hilarious fake band name? Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head. [fimoculous]

*Rumors: Though fans wondered for hours whether Lil Wayne’s 8-year-old daughter had died in a car crash, she is fine. Ugh. Scary.

*Dirty: By now most of us have seen Kafka’s porn. (Hilarious pornography jokes redacted.)

*The Wikipedia entry for anagram told me this, and it is FUCKED UP:

“Anagrammist Cory Calhoun discovered that the first 3 lines of the ‘To Be Or Not To Be’ soliloquy from Hamlet (“To be or not to be, that is the question; whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune“) anagrammed into the phrase ‘In one of the Bard’s best thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten.'”

ALSO: “Jim Morrison came up with an anagram of his name in the Doors song L.A. Woman, calling himself ‘Mr. Mojo Risin’.”

COINCIDENCE? [caitlin]

Video: Devendra Banhart’s “Carmensita,” starring Natalie Portman

Vodpod videos no longer available.

I should add that at one point you can see Devendra Banhart’s pubic hair.

[spinner]

Links for 4.9.08: Portman’s honey, Last.fm’s money, Beyonce’s bun-ny(?)

*Wait. So Natalie Portman and Devendra Banhart are a thing? [the playlist]

*Last.fm says that making music free has boosted sales by 119%. [ars technica]

*YouTube launches a trendspotting channel. (Uh oh?) First up: Political Music Videos. [watching tv online]

*On the heels of Beyonce v. Jay-Z wedding rumors, Billboard analyses what marriage does for record sales. [backstage pass] Next up, what pregnancy does for CD sales?

*In the money: OurStage (basically, crowdsourcing A&R) and mTraks (another indy MySpace) take venture capital. [venture beat]

Links for 4.3.08: iTunes sales, MySpace Music, Akon’s phone call…

*iTunes has moved ahead of Wal-mart as the top music retailer in the United States. Of America. [techmeme]

*MySpace Music finally offers users the chance to buy DRM-free music.

*From Pee-fork: Natalie Portman to star in an upcoming Devendra Banhart video? Hopefully, she gets the Wes Anderson treatment. What?

*You may have heard: Jay-Z signed a far-reaching $150M deal with Live Nation.

*Waxy > Sasha-Frere Jones > Idolator > An animated video of Akon calling T-Pain.

*For all my lasagna lovers: the Garfield MP3 player.

*This is the sound of an Icelandic glacier melting. I don’t care for it. [mefi]

*Off-topic: I want Pac-Man shoes. [wonderland]

Video: Natalie Portman learns Crank That from Soulja Boy

Unfortunately, I am finding the video to be unembeddable. However, simply by clicking here, you can see the awkwardness for yourself. Please notice that I have refrained from suggesting she be supersoaked.

[via getty images]