the listenerd

optimized for maximum incontinence

Tag: star wars

Video: Look at this Yoda made out of salt

Salt Yoda tasty is.

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Links for 9.26.10: I am now 100% immune to polio

*Fashion: The Hold Steady’s Craig Finn says not to call them the Twinkies, yet I have this incredibly awesome t-shirt from Campfire.

*Art: Don’t call it the bird: A giant statue of a middle finger being given, by Maurizio Cattelan. [notcot]

*Movies: Read this page devoted to skeptics of The Force.
“Thus far, two Dark Jedi powers have come to light (so to speak) which merit attention:
-Telekinetic choking, and
-Purple lightning bolts that come from their fingertips.”
[too much nick]

*Booze: Charles Bukowski and Roger Ebert write about the Mickey Rourke movie “Barfly,” which – incidently – is the last movie I ever had on VHS. Also, I like to pronounce it Barf-ly.

*Food: Rob Walker writes about the junk-food branding of baby carrots. I’m an adult carrot guy. Always have been. (Don’t read anything weird into that. Well, nothing TOO weird.) Also, here’s a Rob Walker interview. He would like to have dinner with a nuclear bomb. FAIR ENOUGH.

*Arms: This is a World War I-era pistol bayonet. I link to it here because it terrifies me. On a somewhat related note, today (in GQ – don’t ask) – I learned of the existence of men’s garters that attach to the bottom of a shirt and the top of each sock. They are military in origin, and also terrifying.

*Please note: I have received a polio immunization and am not confident that I will not contract polio.

*Television: Apparently, Bob Dylan appeared on Pawn Stars.

*Today’s grade: F. (Note: I could not even bring myself to proof this post, having watched two episodes of Hoarders on Netflix tonight.)

Links for 8.10.10: More links for your abdominals

*Music: The Ballad of Steven Slater, the JetBlue flight attendant who spectacularly and inspirationally quit his job this week, is well worth the listen. In fact, it brought a tear to my eye. Also, here’s the Taiwanese CGI recreation of Slater’s exit. This is a big day for Generation X, people. A big day. Also, anyone who didn’t immediately smell “fake” while watching the famous “HPOA” whiteboard exit, SHAME. SHAME! Return to Internet 100-level. Goodbye. [daringfireball]

*Words: Against the “state of the art.” Personally, I despise art. But you know this by now. The Smart Set quotes “Note how Suplee uses the phrase. It reads almost apologetically — Suplee is referring not the latest possibilities (“state”) of gas turbine engineering (“art”), but instead to the field’s limitations. This phrase here is a lament.”

*Public relations: Will Sub Pop give music away to sell merchandise? Giving things away is the final refuge of the creatively infirm. Feel free to use that. (I just made it up and it’s worthless.) [mktg]

*Food: PopTarts World is a story that actually exists, selling Pop-Tart flavored lip balm and Pop-Tart containers (to hold Pop-Tarts). This is what your life has become.

*Cinema: Blackstar Warrior? It’s Star Wars meets blaxploitation. [the waxiest]

*The country: Do you want to KNOW America? Truly know it? Then go to a photo exhibit (American Documents) in Antwerp. Or go to the Pop-Tart store. Or read Pissed Consumer. Do you truly understand what this blog is about yet? Do you even care? [c-monster]

*Images: These empty opera houses are awe inspiring. And I’m not much in touch with my awe anymore. [pocketmonsterd]

*Complaint department: (Write legibly.) I hadn’t read these forums before, but I generally like a good, well-written rant. Not actually about efficacy, it seems sites like these are primarily about catharsis.

*Cycling: Pee-Wee Herman attends the Sturgis motorcycle rally. I rode my motorcycle through Sturgis once. Not during the rally, though. It was right before I laid it down on a dirt road outside of Deadwood. If you haven’t noted this yet, I am an idiot. [goldenfiddle]

*Literature: Just an FYI, but my favorite kids’ story right now is Arnold Lobel’s Tear-Water Tea, from “Owl at Home.”

*Today’s links: F.

Ad: adidas Originals remixes the Star Wars Cantina

Snoop Dogg. Daft Punk. Greedo.

Links for 5.17.10: 1,000 Tips for Better Abs and More Taylory Momsens

*Video: You may watch this video of William S. Burroughs shooting a handgun at William Shakespeare if you want. Kansas, 1995.

*Headlines: The New York Times‘ David Carr writes wittily about the death of the witty headline. Regular listenerd readers (a rarity, not a paradox, I’m told) will note that we follow the mantra recently put forth by @oblique_chirps: “Repetition is a form of change.”

*Words: Sean Wilentz takes on the topics of Bob Dylan, originality, authenticity and plagiarism in the Daily Beast. [daily swarm]

*Imagery: I’m not much of a Star Wars geek at all. In fact, up until recently, I thought Boba Fett was a woman. But these helmets from The Vader Project are magnificent.

*Reading: Read Spencer Sloan’s blogging at Crib Notes. Now this is how to write a blog. Like a human being.

*Facebook: danah boyd says “Facebook is a utility; utilities get regulated.” Like many of the people boyd cites at the beginning of her post, I thought it would be weird to quit, too. For personal connections. For research. For work. But it ended up feeling great?

*Today’s links: F.

Links for 4.27.10: 44 Tips for Better Abs and Bigger Salads

*Facebook: Since announcing plans to further take over the world last week, Facebook has been facing increasing claims (including from the U.S. Senate) that their data-sharing policies don’t adequately warn or protect users. I quit Facebook a couple of weeks ago. It was harder to do than you’d expect. That follows my abandonment of Tumblr and Foursquare, as well, leaving only this sorry-ass blog and Twitter remaining.

*Music: Songs From Treme – A Tumblr. [vulture] Similar – but not really – is this site: Waiting For Bieber; where tweets from fans asking Justin Bieber to follow them are displayed. Forever.

*Language: Schott’s Vocab Blog says that Chinese youngsters have started using the phrase “Oh my Lady Gaga” rather than “Oh my God.”

*Cassettes: Cassette Tape Magazine from Team Evil – looks like a cassette tape, reads like a magazine that has articles about alpacas. Only 500 copies available.

*Music: The Rain Drum is concept (ugh) umbrella that plays music based on the pattern of raindrops that fall upon it. I like “concepts” in all contexts except those in which the “concept” is a something I originally thought was a real thing. [psfk]

*Business: On work and intuition; Rands In Repose’s The Twinge. Whenever I feel a twinge at work, I head to the rest room. And I recommend you do the same.

*Social media: As I’ve been saying at work (and touch on above), this Like button thing from Facebook is sort of a big deal. Here’s a site that aggregates people’s likes.

*Twitter: Russell Crowe is tweeting. Also, read these five things.

*Movies: I’m not even really that into Star Wars, but James Hance’s Star Wars-themed paintings are pretty awesome. [neatorama]

*Poetry: Jason Nelson’s “Sydney’s Siberia” is an infinite digital poem. I guess. [waxy]

*Today’s links: F.

Video: Trailer for crowdsourced “Star Wars Uncut”

I blogged about this fan-made, crowdsourced version of “Star Wars” many moons ago. Now it is coming to fruition? WHAT? Some of the costumes (and physiques) are INCREDIBLE.

[the indomitable waxy]

Video: A German youth identifying Star Wars Lego’s

This is a video of a blindfolded German youth identifying Star Wars Lego figures as they are put in her mouth.

[the daily what via heavy critters]

Links for 1.26.09: 20 Tips for Better Abs

*Quote: “Do you ever wish you woke up in the hospital? All your loved ones would be there, and a doctor would look down at you with a serious expression and say, “You were in a very serious accident, and unfortunately we had to make several major amputations.” – I highly recommend reading on. “Hospital,” Edith Zimmerman [golden fiddle]

*Quote: “The person who wrote the advertisements is without doubt the most ignorant person now alive on the planet; also without doubt he is an idiot, an idiot of the 33rd degree, and scion of an ancestral procession of idiots stretching back to the Missing Link.” – Mark Twain, in an angry letter directed toward a patent medicine salesman.

*Science: Japanese scientists have invented “elastic water,” a combination of H20, clay and “organic matter.” It looks like a clearish gummy bear, but probably tastes better.

*Fashion: Junior Massive t-shirts incorporate the iconography of vinyl records. [notcot]

*Cinema: The BBC will be airing a film shot entirely by chimpanzees. “The apes created the movie using a specially designed chimp-proof camera given to them by primatologists.” Apparently, they also created their own language – Chimpanzese. Suck it, Cameron. [eyeteeth]

*Economy: The Washington Post has put together an interactive map of unemployment rates by county.

*Music: Bandcamp’s BCWax is a music “unlabel,” based on “dogfooding.” I prefer my made up words without quotes, but it sounds pretty interesting. [waxy]

*Posters: These concept movie posters have been floating around, but if you haven’t seen them, they are lovely. Especially Star Wars. (And I’m not really even much of a Star Wars fan.)

*Today’s links: F.

Links for 10.9.09: Bombing the moon, bros, and DUDE we BOMBED the MOON!!!11

*Events: Kind of a big day today. We bombed the moon and Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. Also, WE BOMBED THE FUCK OUT OF THE MOON!!!

*Photography: Who wants to see pictures of flies peeing? As a kind of break from all the excitement. [eyeteeth]

*Literature: The Brocyclopedia – “‘Broseph’ was originally a term reserved for a bro or bra named “Joseph,” but the broseph has since evolved into an entirely separate sub-category of bro.” The funny thing is, this isn’t some McSweeney’s Dave Eggers bullshit. It’s cultural history. Or so I currently feel like claiming.

*Movies: David Wyatt writes in the Virginia Quarterly Review about “Star Wars and the Productions of Time.” On the Luke-Han continuum, I am indifferent and embarrassed to even know that much. [harper’s]

*Beer: Read this interview with the most interesting man in the world. The guy from the Dos Equis beer commercials.

*Recession: Guys with mustaches make more money than dudes with beards or clean-shaven men. I have been unable to sustain a mustache for longer than a half hour at any point in my life due to the overwhelming pressures of normal society. [huffpo]

*Local: Har Mar Superstar has to be one HELL of a partier, because he somehow has projects going. Still. And knows people. And WHAT? He’s writing a movie with Ellen Page. I will point out to those unfamiliar with this blog that Har Mar Mall is my local mall and say further that the pet store there smells like a dead body in a dumpster full of Chinese food that your co-worker made for lunch two days ago. Or worse.

*Punctuation: ;

*Today’s grade: Stay of execution. No American blog post fails today, since we bombed that God damn moon back to where it fucking belongs. SPACE.

Video: Chewbacca on a Stratocaster

I don’t think I’ve ever had as much fun as these two guys. Well, once. But don’t ask. Ever.

Links for 2.2.09: Live Nation Ticketmaster merger, Jonas Brothers downsize!?!?

*Mergers: The WSJ is reporting that Live Nation and Ticketmaster want to merge, creating Live Nation Ticketmaster. Good lord.

*Economics: It’s time to downsize a Jonas Brother. [This is fake.] (Is that the first time I’ve mentioned the Jonas Brothers on this blog? Despite my long-time personal interest in them? WAIT. WHAT?) [ypulse]

*Blogging: Carrie Fisher has a blog, and talks about her salad days. Or whatever. Wearing a metal bikini. That was plastic. [mefi – WHICH IS DOWN??]

*Household: Speaking of metal, they’ve been making the rounds, but maybe you need to brush up on your heavy metal laundry tips. “NEVER USE FABRIC SOFTENER ON METAL SHIRTS.” I have a classic Hawkwind shirt that my uncle gave me from First Avenue that is softer than the finest Corinthian leather. However, I have NEVER used fabric softener on it. Just gin. And smoke. And human hair. [lisanti]

*Posters: There’s a show of rock posters with Big Lebowski themes called “This Aggression Will Not Stand, Man: A Group Show of Prints Inspired by the Cult Classic The Big Lebowski.” [pop candy]

*Twitter: The New York Times offers up a visualization of people’s twittering keywords during the Super Bowl.

*Retail: Bruce Springsteen apologizes for giving an exclusive deal to Wal-Mart for his next album. “We were in the middle of doing a lot of things, it kind of came down and, really, we didn’t vet it the way we usually do. We just dropped the ball on it. Given [Wal-Mart’s] labour history, it was something that if we’d thought about it a little longer, we’d have done something different. It was a mistake.”

*Musicians who Twitter: One of my most popular posts ever has been Musicians who Twitter (which is weirdly the top Google result for that particular search) . Now that old-boy’s (man’s?) club MBV covers the evolution of Twitter music postings, maybe we can all stop trying to look up musicians on Twitter. I’m just looking for peace in life. That’s it. Just peace.

*Metaverse: Busta Rhymes is debuting new music in Grand Theft Auto.

*I feel like I’m falling behind. Due to tiredness. Also, I think I need to stretch my legs a little. Bear with me, please.

Links for 1.28.09: Phoenix’s rap, musical injuries and death…

*Rap: Joaquin Phoenix’s rap career was a “hoax“? Apparently, these people did not get the memo about the changing nature of the concept “real.” And by “these people,” I have no idea who I’m talking about.

*Pornography: The genre of SFW porn is on the rise. Well, if saying the F-word is still SFW. Here’s a semi-SFW porny spoof of The Office, XXX Office. [best week ever]

*Mixtapes: Muxtape returns as a site that has almost none of the functionality of the original. They retain, however, the euphonic name “Muxtape.” Weeeeee.

*Football: Ear Farm pulls together the Super Bowl thoughts and predictions of the indie music world. Because everybody wants to know Dan Deacon’s take on the big game.

*Nerdery: Star Wars goes horror with Deathtroopers. [hinto]

*Death: John Updike died. You knew that. Dozens of novels published, and his NYT obit calls him “almost blogger-like.”

*Local economy: More bad news – On Tuesday, Target and Best Buy announced layoffs (900 positions eliminated at Target HQ), piggybacking on the tens of thousands of jobs that went away on Monday. I just report this stuff people. People who are interested in musical ephemera and obscure web culture want to hear about harsh economic realities, right?

*The Annals of Medicine: Even though, as this metafilter post points out, “cello scrotum” is a hoax, it’s still fun to read about music-related injuries. “The instrument itself, as result of its composition, weight, and shape, together with the force required to play it and the prolonged and repetitive nature of practice, may lead to a host of instrument specific injuries.”

*Beards: Devendra shaved his. OH NO. It probably has something to do with the Natalie Portman break-up.

*Localish: Check out The Hold Steady on the public radio show Sound Opinions. [mfr]

Video: R2-D2’s dancing in unison

[vvc]